Sunday, May 23, 2010

Feelings



I'm going to be perhaps too honest right now, but here goes.

I have so much regret.

It’s funny, because I used to tell people I didn’t believe in regret.
Just “life lessons.”
Well, I guess I’ve been in denial.
Because I feel regret deep down in my bones. In my chest. Especially today.

I've always been a horribly indecisive person, for decisions big and small.
But, of course, it's those big decisions that I feel regretful about.
It's hard for me to trust myself to make the right choice.
They say hindsight is 20/20. Boy, is that ever true.




There are so many things I wish I could take back.
Decisions I would have made differently.
Things I didn’t do that I wish I had done.
Things I’ve done that I wish I didn’t do.
You know the drill.

And I know there is no point in dwelling in the past.
Everyone makes mistakes, of that I am aware.
But this logic, this reasoning, still doesn’t help me shake that awful feeling.
That I wish I had a rewind button and that I could zip myself back to the beginning.
And press play all over again.




The question is: would I really do it any better—would my life be that much better— if I had it to do again?





Photos via we heart it, Leave Happier and i can read

8 comments:

Elle Sees said...

I'm all for "it happened for a reason" but there is definately one thing I regret truly that I would like to undo. I know my life would be better.

fawn said...

I wish we were granted do-overs. Don't be too hard on yourself. It's just something we go through. :)

Katy Mary said...

Sometimes I wish I could go back and do it all over, take away the things I shouldn't have done, do the things I should have, stop myself from a bad decision or from hurting someone. Everyday you have to live with the decisions you make or don't make, as much as I wish I had done many things differently there is not reason to dwell on things you cannot change. There is no guarantee that life would be any different, you could have made completely different choices but still end up exactly where you are. Look ahead :)

Heather Taylor said...

Sometimes I regret things too, but then I look into my heart and see how I felt when I made the decision. As long as you're happy, that's what really counts :)

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

Awww this post made me sad, love-y! I'm sorry to hear that you are experiencing a lot of regret lately. Maybe it's just a stage you are going through right now? I think that things will turn around for you soon and remember that you wouldn't be the amazing person you are today if it wasn't for every single moment that you've had in your life! XO

Kristin said...

I think with time you'll come to accept your decisions and realize that you wouldn't be where you are without them! I regretted things for a long time...until I realized that even the bad times have gotten me to where I am today!

Phoenix said...

Oh, honey... I hope you don't blame yourself for the decisions you made because at the time, when you didn't know then what you know now, you made the best decision you could have. Hindsight is 20/20 but it's impossible to have while we're making decisions.

I strongly believe - especially since I know you a little and you've let me see a little bit of your heart - that you have always done the best you could and if you could have done better, you would have.

::hugs and love::

Dionne said...

I agree with Tracy - you can't think about decisions you made in the past - you didn't know what the outcome would be - so you did what you thought was best at the time.

And yes, we're all in that boat along with you - it's a pity that boat of thinking about the past doesn't get us anywhere :(