Tuesday, November 24, 2009
I know this is something people say in "Monday" posts, but I'm going to say it a day late: The weekend just flew by.
On Sunday night as I was going to bed, I started to think of all the things I had wanted to accomplish in those all-too-brief two days and all the things I still had yet to do. As my eyes got heavy with sleep, a mental to-do list played in my head and the stress I had temporarily let go of on Friday afternoon suddenly began to creep back into my chest. With tense shoulders and a slightly churning stomach, I went to sleep.
Monday I awoke to the unfortunate and unwelcome realization of all I had to get done. With the Thanksgiving holiday, all of my deadlines are moved up a day, which only compounded the "normal" amount of anxiety I feel on Mondays. I am a person that generally likes to have things to do and I relish making to-do lists, but what I enjoy even more is crossing things off. As in done. No more. Finito. But it seems like my life is an unending list of tasks-- the moment I strike one through with my pen, another job is waiting to be tackled and completed. These tasks are mostly work-related but also personal, and laundry is seemingly one of the items that I will never get to because of all the other "priority projects" above it. But a girl needs clean clothes sometime, right?
I wish I could say I have only felt like this as of late, but that's not true. And the burden, the pressure, of having so much on my plate that has to be done perfectly-- because I can't not do it perfectly or at least try-- is starting to wear on me. I am feeling burnt out. Which, of course, makes it even harder to accomplish all that is asked of me, by myself and others. I procrastinate, I fall behind. I work work work to catch up, but then it never seems good enough. I am definitely too hard on myself, for sure, but at times I feel like I can't manage my time, my emotions, my responsibilities, my ... life.
My second grade teacher told my mom that I was a stressed out little girl. Isn't it about time for a break?
image via we heart it via Audrey Hepburn Complex