Tomorrow is Pepperdine University's graduation. I can't believe it has been two years since I graduated from college. In some ways, so much has changed. But in other ways, not much has changed at all. Sometimes I feel like I am a bit stuck; like my life is not moving forward. It's been two years and what have I done with myself since I crossed that stage and got my degree?
I shouldn't sell myself too short, I do have a full-time, paying job. Not well-paying, but I make do. In this economy, simply having a job is something to brag about. It took me a while to get there though. I didn't land a full-time gig until a year after graduation. I was starting to feel pretty bad about myself actually. During that in-between year I worked at my old job before college, hosting at Fridays, though that only lasted a couple months (nasty fallout with the ex that worked there, and his new girlfriend, too. Oh the stories I could tell). I interned at a luxury lifestyle magazine in Los Angeles called Angeleno. I freelanced for the community paper I now work at. Oh, and I sent out resumes, cover letters and clips by the dozens, of course.
So while I don't see writing for my hometown community paper as the end-all-be-all for my journalistic career, it is a good stepping stone and I like what I do and I really can't complain. But when I hear about old friends—from both high school and college—getting married, having babies, taking fabulous jobs in fabulous cities, I start to feel like my life just doesn't measure up.
I really started thinking about this about a month ago while talking on the phone with my good friend Brittany. We were roomies when I interned in D.C. for a semester and when we came back to Malibu, but now she lives 1,000 miles away in Seattle. Tear. Anyway, we were just having some girl talk, catching up on each others lives and she was telling me about how she quit her job (the job she took out of college that paid like $50,000 a year or some other envious amount) and started her own business. An online video course to help people study for the LEED certification exam. I was amazed. She was alway a go-getter, but really? Just start your own business, just like that? And it's been successful because it is like the only one out there. Damn girl, is what I thought.
She was also telling me about how she is planning to move from Seattle in a few years after she and her boyfriend are married and, because of the freedom of running an online business—he has an idea of his own, too—just travel. Move to Costa Rica maybe, she said. It seemed to me as we were talking that she has her whole life, or at least the next few years, mapped out. She knows where she wants to be and how she is going to get there. Right now, I'm just taking the days as they come. I have no idea where I will be a year from now. I hope I won't still be in Simi, but maybe I will be. I have dreams but they seem so far away. Bottom line, I feel unsure about the future. Where I'll be, who I'll be with, what I'll be doing. I just can't think that far ahead. I have too much to think about in the moment!
Does anyone else feel like this sometimes? Like everyone is moving fast forward and you are the turtle (not the hare) in this race called life?
By the way, Brittany just got engaged a couple weeks ago. She and her fiance are getting married in August-ish. No, she is not pregnant. (I don't think, anyway.)
Ok, enough reflection and thought-provoking questions. It is Friday after all. So I leave you with a sampling of photos from my graduation day. Class of 2007, woo! woo!
Me and the gang, aka, my Simi friends plus the boy.
Me and the 'rents. My ma's eyes are closed. I always say, squinty eyes run in the family.
Me and my Hawaiian sister (sorority sister, that is!), Kapua.
After graduation we went to this delish Mexican restaurant called La Paz, which has the tastiest strawberry margaritas and chicken tamales! My fave! I was so happy to be done with school, as you can see in the big smile plastered across my face, and wanted to capture the moment so I went around the table at lunch and took pics with all my friends.
Here with Steph, who I have known since 6th grade.
Besties since 3rd grade. That's Marielle and Anna.
My brother, Patrick, and me. It was like pulling teeth to get him to crack that smile. You shoulda seen the picture I took before this one.
This one I put in black and white because poor babe got so sunburned. It was a sweltering hot day and Laura Bush (that was our keynote speaker! Secret Service agents were at my graduation, for reals!) gave the longest speech ever.
Hope you enjoyed this flashback! Happy Friday and happy weekend!